diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index 171b257..ccd6ab2 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -73,3 +73,47 @@ I don't think I need to specify detailed usage policies if you've come this far,
 - Don't act entitled (unless you pay for a specific service, in which case be a dick I guess). The services are provided on a best-effort basis
 
 Other than that, if you have basic common sense and follow the netiquette (at least even partially), do pretty much what you want.
+
+## FAQ
+
+### Can you host X?
+
+Woah, slow down there kiddo. Feel free to propose the idea to me (either with a PR to this repo or by contacting me [on Telegram](https://t.me/nocturn9x)),
+but there's no guarantee I'll approve your request. We host services based on how useful they are to them or if they're cool
+
+### I feel offended by X! Can you remove it?
+
+Then I feel offended by you feeling offended. Fuck off, the door is always open both to come in and to leave
+
+### I don't like SAO!
+
+This is not a question, but you're an idiot regardless
+
+### I found some illegal content, what do I do?
+
+Report it to me [on Telegram](https://t.me/nocturn9x) ASAP and I'll deal with it. If you get us banned by filing a report
+to our provider I'll personally kick you in the butt and ban you from using our services. Beware
+
+### Service X is down, can you fix it?
+
+We have real-time uptime notifications in our private management group. If you noticed it's down, we most likely did before you
+and are already working on fixing the problem (because we love you even if you're a cunt). Just don't act entitled, I'm literally
+giving you freebies here, Jeez
+
+### Can I help you with management?
+
+Ehh, it depends. We're kind of full at the moment, but if you have a good idea and/or a particular skillset do reach to me [on Telegram](https://t.me/nocturn9x)
+and we'll see what can be done
+
+### How can I host a node of my own?
+
+Instructions on how to host your own node will be coming soon. Thanks for being Awesome™️, by the way
+
+### My question is not here, what do I do?
+
+[Reach out](https://t.me/nocturn9x)
+
+### Will you spy on me?
+
+No. I honestly could not care less about you, to be honest. If you don't trust me it's fine, go use Google or host your own
+crap I guess.
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